Flame of the Four Gods
by yue-vae
Summary: The FoR(& mayb FY)characters R forced 2 participate in another UBS by whacked-out authors! There's romance (fuu/rai, neon/joker & more) & a big spoiler in ONLY the 1st chap, no more, we swear! Please R&R!
1. Chap 1: Kurei & Kukai and idiot girl aut...

Title: Mysterious Flame Type: Anime - FY/FoR crossover Genre: Action/Adventure/Humour Authors: yue-vae aka Yue(yue_11) & Vae(Yvaellis) Rating: PG13 Parings: Hoto/Nuri, Subo/Yui, Fuu/Rai/Tok & others depending on the readers - so R&R people! PLEASE! Description: The Flame of Recca and Fushigi Yuugi characters are forced to participate in yet another Ura Buto Satsujin by crazy power-mad authors (aka: us ^o^)  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own any of the Flame of Recca and Fushigi Yuugi characters. They belong to the geniuses Anzai Nobuyuki and Watase Yuu respectively. Flames will be used to feed Recca's dragons who will then burn the person who flamed us to a nice crispy black.  
  
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=Chap 1=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=  
  
Yue: Konnichiwa, minna san! We're in Anime Land right now, on a mission to.shhh *looks around* *whispers in a softer voice* capture the characters of Fushigi Yuugi and Flame of Recca and get them to participate in our Ura Buto Satsujin.  
  
Vae: Of course, we are not unreasonable people. We will *try* to persuade them first, but if they don't agree. then we shall take them by force. *evil smirk*  
  
Yue: We shall get the leaders from each team first, and we'll start with the people from Flame of Recca first. Right, let's start from hmmm. lemme check my list.the Uruha! *mutters* They'll probably be easier to persuade, anyway, they're nuts.  
  
Vae: Uh huh, I totally agree with you. But Raiha's perfectly fine though. *starry eyes* He's so nice and so cute! And Neon and her sisters are okay once you get to know them...  
  
(Yue stares)  
  
Vae: What?!  
  
Yue: You know them???!!!!  
  
Vae: Yeah, I visit them sometimes, why? I also visit the Seishi - *chokes and turns purple as Yue throttles her*  
  
Yue: *screaming* YOU GO TO SEE THEM AND TALK TO THEM AND YOU DON'T TELL ME???????!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ASS!!!!!  
  
(Vae manages to get free and whacks Yue)  
  
Vae: Hey! It's not like you don't go and visit Mi-chan sometimes! Besides I haven't seen them for a long time while you visit Mi-chan five times a week! Anyway. Let's go -  
  
Yue: Find Kurei!!!!  
  
Audience member (AM): Didn't Kurei go back to the past? (A/N: in book 33, Kurei used the Jikou Ryuuri technique to go back to the Hokage 400 years before) You crazy authors!  
  
Vae: *throws 10kg rock at AM* We're the amazing almighty authors! We can do anything we want within the rules. and this happens to be in within the rules! So there! *triumphant smirk*  
  
Yue: Vae's rite. it's *our* fic. So shuddup before we make you suffer a horrible, tragic fate. *evil grin* Hah.  
  
(Audience member whimpers and shuts up at this point)  
  
Yue: *quietens down* Hey. Kurei's coming.  
  
(Kurei walks past ignoring the rest of the world as usual)  
  
Yue: Anou. Kurei sama, *says sweetly* will you be so kind as to join our Ura Buto Satsujin? *puppy eyes*  
  
Kurei: *flatly* NO.  
  
(Yue facefaults while Vae points finger at her and laughs her head off)  
  
Yue: But.but.*splutters* Uh. *brain hatches a brilliant plan* Aha. Did I mention, Recca-kun will be there. you want to fight your brother doncha? You want to make Recca suffer too because you're such a sadistic.oops. I mean, nice person. that you want to train him to make him stronger, ne?  
  
Kurei: *sniffs disdainfully* Recca and I are on civil terms right now, and we don't flame each other on first sight like before. But.*mad gleam in eyes* Training him to make him stronger sounds great. heheh. I can use that as a reason to blow him to a crisp. BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
Yue & Vae: *sweatdrop*  
  
Vae: So.is that a yes?  
  
Kurei: *turns chibi* Yep yep. *nods non-stop*  
  
Vae: Ok.uh.so. stop nodding will ya. you have to follow us around. We might need you to convince others. *in a low voice to Yue* We won't have any problems with Neon and her sisters then. And the other Uruha people are pretty loyal to him too.  
  
Yue: .I suppose so. XD *slaps Vae a high 5* One team down, seven to go. Hmmm. who's next? *scans list* Team Kuu!  
  
Vae: So that means. Kukai!  
  
Yue: yep.  
  
Vae: Ok.Hey Kurei, do you know where's Kukai?  
  
Kurei: I do not associate with members of pathetic opposing teams unless they are my subordinates. However, I do know that yelling works, though only for authors, in this place when wanting to summon others - although it has some unusual effects...  
  
Vae: Oh. Then. *yells* KUKAIIIII!!!!!!  
  
(the ground shakes like in an earthquake)  
  
Yue: *ignores the quake and whacks Vae's head* Baka. You don't search for people like that. It's like that. *yells even louder* KUKAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! WHERE THE FREAKING HELL ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU????????????  
  
(the ground shakes even harder, making everyone fall face flat on the dusty ground, and lightning strikes all the nearby trees and fries them)  
  
Kurei: My clothes!  
  
Yue: oops. Better not try that again.  
  
Vae: -_-'  
  
(Chibi Saicho pops out of thin air)  
  
Saicho: I'm sorry but Shihandai is not free at the moment. May I take a message? *eyes widen* Hey, is that Kurei-sama?  
  
Kurei: *snorts* Duh. The one and only. Who else could I be? Recca?  
  
Yue: Can we see Kukai?  
  
Saicho: Sorry, no way.  
  
Vae: Pwease? *pouts and gives him puppy eyes, trying to look cute and failing miserably*  
  
Saicho: Sorry, I said no way. We're training new recruits and -  
  
Vae: *storms up to Saicho* Look here, u psycho of a Saicho. *grabs him by the collar and shakes hard* I WANT TO SEE KUKAI!!! NOW!!! OR YOU DIE!!!!! HEAR ME???!!!!!!  
  
Yue: O.O Wow~ she's real good.  
  
Vae: *calmly drops Saicho, straightens clothes and faces audience* Sorry, Saicho fans, I think he's cool and pretty cute too but desperate times call for desperate measures. *ducks flying rotten tomatoes and oinking pig* HEY!!!  
  
Saicho: (@@ - Saicho's eyes) Hai, hai. uh, here. *suddenly pulls chibi- Kukai out of nowhere and dumps him on Vae who promptly collapses under the weight*  
  
Saicho: You want him, you have him. *runs away leaving a trail of dust behind*  
  
Yue: Btw, like Vae has already said, dun get us wrong, we love Saicho to death. ^_^  
  
Kukai: (back to normal) *gets off dazed Vae, covered in tomato and all* *glares* Hey. what am I doing here?  
  
Yue: Erm. Kukai sama, will you join our Ura Buto Satsujin?  
  
Kukai: *eyes pop out* Ura Buto Satsujin? *turns chibi again* OF COURSE!!! *jumps around and sings* Everybody lurrvvessssss UBS.la-la-la-la~ Finally another chance to prove Team Ku's might!  
  
(A.N. Kukai's a bit OOC at this point ^_^;;;)  
  
Yue & Vae: -_-'  
  
Kurei: .  
  
Yue: Well, I guess that makes two teams down, six more to go.  
  
Vae: Hey, Yue, why bother searching for the leaders? I mean, yelling works perfectly fine. 'cept for the whole earthquake thing.  
  
Yue: erm. *sweatdrop* I don't think so.  
  
Vae: *ignores her and takes a deep, deeeeeep breath and yells* HANABISHI RECCA OF HOKAGE AND AOI FROM URA URUHA. WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU????!!!!! I WANT TO SEE YOU THIS - *suddenly breaks off and makes a strangled noise* - instant!  
  
*Vae grabs Yue by the neck (causing Yue to turn blue), and screeches in a strangled whisper that is barely audible (A/N I wonder how can anybody screech in a strangled whisper? ^_^)*  
  
Vae: I lost my voice!  
  
(Lightning strikes turning everyone there black as if they were roasted, the ground shakes and cracks, thunder rumbles, a hurricane tears through the place leaving them all black and soaking wet while a tornado passes through leaving wreckage everywhere. And all this while, Vae still has Yue by the neck.)  
  
Kurei: Good lord, I'm stuck with a brainless murdering idiot for an author! (A.N. he sounds like Draco in some Harry Potter fanfics, dontcha think?)  
  
Kukai: *calmly* Think good positive thoughts.  
  
Yue: *finally pries Vae's hands off her neck* Hey! Are you trying to murder me or something? Thank you very much. *face turns from blue back to normal*  
  
Kukai: *nods wisely* See, that's why you shouldn't yell for the leaders.  
  
Kurei: .  
  
*Vae glares, punches him, and breaks the bones in her fingers*  
  
Vae: Owowowowowowowowowow!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn.! .; *clutches fingers and sniffs then suddenly straightens* Hey! My voice is back! *dances around like a madwoman then remembers her fist* Owowowowowowowowowowowowow!!!!!!!!!!! Damn.!  
  
Yue: . *whistle* It serves you right.just don't hit that monster.oops *shrinks back as Kukai directs murderous glares at her* more than three times.  
  
AM: HEY! Aren't you authors supposed to be invincible and almighty, blah blah blah? Can't you even heal yourself? *Boos and jeers from audience*  
  
Yue: Awww. shuddup. Even *we* have rules, you idiots. I'm not about to explain, it's too complicated and weird. Remember what I said about you people suffering a horrible, tragic fate? *evil grin* You're pushing your luck, my dears.  
  
(AM suddenly feels a chill creeping up their spines and stops jeering, muttering about crazy and evil authors)  
  
Vae: Yeah. In fact, *I* can summon Yanagi right now to heal me. *opens mouth to call for Yanagi* YANA-urrffhh!!!! (chokes as Yue clamps a hand over her mouth)  
  
Yue: N-O. For one, I DO NOT want another natural disaster ripping through here. And secondly, NOT YANAGI. I CAN'T STAND HER WHINING! *whimpers* It traumatises me! (A.N. Sorry all Yanagi fans, but I really cannot stand her whining. ^_^;;; Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, ne? So dun flame me over this, onegai!!!)  
  
Vae: *pulls Yue's hand off her mouth* *coughs* But. she might be a pathetic wimp but at least she's a pathetic wimp of a healer! What about my poor, injured, broken, fractured, *inserts a long list of sadistic adjectives which can also be written as @%!#!^&($^&$^&@$!$@%)(@%$#@)@($#)^!&$* - fingers?  
  
Yue: *huffs* Oh fine! We'll split up. You can go find the Hokage and *wince* Yanagi, and I will settle the Ura Uruha. We'll meet back here 1 hour later, is that ok?  
  
Vae: oh, pushing Yanagi on me, huh? *considers* Sounds good to me, though. I'm looking forward to meeting Fuuko if she's there! She's cool!!! Your idea saves time too. We can get started on the UBS sooner. ^o^  
  
Yue: I'll bring Kurei with me and you can take Kukai along. *mutters in a lower voice to Vae* It's better this way. The Hokage is on better terms with Kukai then Kurei. I doubt they will agree to the tournament if Kurei is going to be in it -  
  
Kurei: *cuts in* Hey! I want to see my otouto. I want to fry him and blow his brains with Kurenai!!!  
  
Vae: .That's another reason why you should go with Yue. We can't let anything happen to Recca before the tournament, can we? *winks to Yue* And that would be highly impossible with you around.  
  
Kurei: *turns chibi and pouts* Fine. I shall be waiting for you at the tournament, Recca. *mad gleam in eye*  
  
Yue: Ok. Enough talk. Let's get down to business. See you an hour later. *drags Kurei along with her and walks to the north*  
  
Vae: Yep. Come on, Kukai, we're going to look for the Hokage. *prepares to walk to the south but suddenly stops* Are you sure you don't want me to yell for them? *asks innocently*  
  
Everyone including audience: YES WE'RE SURE!  
  
Vae: *sweatdrop* Fine then. Ikimasho.  
  
Kurei: Can we stop stopping? The sooner, the better, ladies.  
  
Yue: Sure. Let's go find the Ura Uruha! *starts walking again, while Kurei tries to look haughty and imposing and not succeeding 'cuz he's being dragged alongside Yue*  
  
Vae: *suddenly remembers something* Come on, Kukai, quickly, before Yue realizes -  
  
(Yue suddenly stop dead in her tracks - making Kurei crack his head on a rock - and spins around with a look of utmost horror on her face)  
  
Yue: OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!! *Points accusing finger at fellow author* VAE!!!!!!!!!!! STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vae: Too late. Kuso, damn, and il maudire. Kukai, I have one word that might save your life. RUN!!!!!!!!! .~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.  
  
A.N. Well.? Like it? In the other chapters we'll be finding the other teams, then finally getting down to the real story. The real story, not the 'finding people' part of the story, should be in third-person format, not this kind of 'play-writing' format. That would be less confusing, ne? And it should be less corny and weird as the 'finding people' part. PLEASE R&R!!! Thanks, merci, xie xie ni, arigato, muchas gracias!!! 


	2. Chap 2: Finding the Hokage

Hey, we're back! 2 reviews on our first chap... *sniffs* we're so touched!  
  
We'd really like to thank Cherie for that review... sorry about the spoiler ^^; we'll try to look out for stuff like that. And we don't know how to put the story in any other format besides Word... *sigh* so kan't help that. We'll pair Neon and Joker just for you, actually, we like that pairing too... hey it rhymes! (Vae: I agree with the corny laptop magical powers comment... it's more fun our way, ne? *shameless bragging*) (Yue: -_-; ) Anyway, glad that you liked our fic, we weren't sure if it was as funny as we would like it to be...  
  
And chaos-wing, thanks for reviewing as well! (Vae: Yue went and paired Raiha and Fuuko without my knowing!!! *wails*) (Yue: She prefers Fuuko/Tokiya heheh...) (Vae: hmph) So anyway, you'll get your pairing, though right now there's not much... action...  
  
And this is not a FY/FoR crossover any more, like we wanted it to be. sigh... so now it's just FoR. Sorry! (actually if you really want a crossover you can tell us... we don't mind!!! It's just that we thought that we hadn't paid too much attention to the FY characters, and that so far we've focused on FoR only... and it's unfair to the FY people)  
  
oh, yes, and we apologize in advance to Yanagi fans... we both don't like her very much... so as u imagine, she's not very... favoured... in this fic, let's just say... but u can complain if u want, and we'll be nicer.  
  
Oh, and one last thing (sorry!) the 1st few chapters don't really focus much on the UBS... it's just a prelude to the real story. So the 1st few chaps are just like 'prologues' to the real story, you can call them 'fillers'... and in the real story, you'll hardly see any mention about us authors... it's FoR all the way!!! Yea!!! ^__^ please, no flames!  
  
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=prologue to Chap 2=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+  
  
Weird Voice: Hello people! Read the above Author's Notes first! They're important! At least the last 3 paragraphs... And we do not own Flame of Recca or Fushigi Yuugi. They belong to the geniuses Anzai Nobuyuki and Watase Yuu respectively.  
  
Werid Voice: So, anyway. In the last chapter, we see Kukai and Vae running away from a raging rhino - *Yue glares* - ahem, pardon me, a raging Yue. What caused the cheerful author to lose her marbles? *Yue glares x10*  
  
Yue: I've lost my marbles for as long as I can remember.  
  
Weird Voice: Ah, okay, I meant, to lose her cool. So, what caused Yue's fellow idiot - *Yue and Vae glare* - um, wait, that should be fellow author. So anyway, what caused her to scream out a death warning to Kukai, in a voice that sounded like an enraged Kurenai screaming, which means to scream so piercingly that it makes your eardrums *and* all the glass within a thousand miles shatter?  
  
(Kurei appears, calmly flames Weird Voice with the abovementioned screaming enraged Kurenai, and both of them stick their tongues out at the now black and crispy Weird Voice before disappearing)  
  
Yue and Vae: HAH!!! *sticks out tongues too*  
  
Weird Voice: *squeaks* so let the story begin... *dead faint*  
  
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=Chap 2=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=  
  
Yue: VAE!!!!!! FREEZE!!!! *suddenly reverts to normal voice* Kukai, you can leave, I don't hurt innocents. *turns back to Vae* DID YOU HEAR ME???!!!!  
  
Vae: *squeaks* I *am* freezing!  
  
Kukai: *placidly* Now, Yue, I'm sure we can find a peaceful solution. *flinches under Yue's death glare* or not...  
  
Vae: Kurei! Help us! *tries to hide behind Kukai who's trying to hide behind Vae* Use Kurenai! Quick!  
  
Kurei: *rubs his head* ow. (he bumped his head remember? ^_^) No, I will not allow my Kurenai to involve herself in petty squabbles like this. I also have a desire to live a little while longer instead of dying at the hands of a crazed female.  
  
Yue: *evil smirk* BWAHAHAHA, no one's gonna save you now, Vae! Accept your punishment! *mad gleam in bloodshot eyes*  
  
Vae: *tries to look brave* punishment for what? Jus 'cuz you forgot Mi- chan's in Hokage doesn't mean you can punish me... *voice gets tinier and tinier till she trails off in a mumble, cowering under Yue's merciless gaze*  
  
Yue: Aw. shaddup. TEME. *stick a finger out at Vae. (And no, children, not *that* finger, tsk tsk, shame on yourselves. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, just remember I often talk to myself so don't mind me.)* ...YOU...YOU... YOU DIDN'T. REMIND. ME. THAT. MY. DEAR. MI-CHAN. IS. IN. HOKAGE. And you still dare say 'what punishment'???!!! *starts swelling like a balloon*  
  
Vae: Hey! I like Mi-chan too! Besides it was your idea so it's your problem that you forgot... *gulps and cowers again, slowly inching away from Yue* On second thought, talking isn't going to help...  
  
(A lightbulb lights up over Vae's head, and she whips out a pin and sticks it in Yue causing her to turn into a chibi-balloon whizzing around in the air screaming vulgarities. Ever tried that before? You just blow up a balloon, don't tie it, and let it go. It makes a loud farting noise... Ok I'll stop crapping now... *Chinese* bú yào ji?ng fèi huà le...)  
  
And then Vae uses the distraction to grab chibi-Kukai's hand and sprint off into the distance, with Kukai bouncing off the ground with every step Vae takes, going 'ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...' and so on. You get the picture. If you don't, too bad.)  
  
Yue: TEME!!!! GET YOUR FREAKING A** BACK HERE!!! Kuso! We lost them! Heck, Kurei, we're going to find the Hokage too!  
  
Kurei: ...  
  
Yue: Ikimasho! *drags Kurei who is currently glaring and sulking*  
  
(At this point, Yue is staggering backward, straining to pull Kurei with her. She bumps into someone and falls face flat on the ground and...)  
  
Yue: WHAT THE FREAK IS THE FREAKIN MATTER WITH MY FREAKIN LUCK TODAY????!!!! Dammit! What in the name of Kami-sama is your problem! Watch where you're going, will - *turns around and faces person she bumped into, ready to kill* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Raiha!!! *eyes turn into lil' pink hearts* what are you doing here?  
  
Raiha: *Flashes 1000 megawatt grin* to see Kurei-sama of course! I heard something about a battle, and I came to join him once more!  
  
Kurei: So, Yue, do you still wanna find the Hokage... *trails off* Hey - where's she? *spots Yue glomping Raiha a few metres away* Oh. *pouts* no one's listening to me...  
  
Raiha: *cuts in anxiously* Of course I'm listening to your, Kurei-sama! I'm your one and only faithful... *yelps as Yue tries to hug him even harder, which is almost impossible* Erm. *gasps for breath* excuse me, are you single?  
  
Yue: YES!!!!! *starry eyed* I AM!!! *Lets go of Raiha and looks at him with puppy eyes, hand clasped (in what she believes is an adorable way) in front of her*  
  
Raiha: *straightens out his hair and clothes* I can see why. Oops. I mean - you might be single, but I'm not. *Turns beet red* I'm with Fuuko, I'm really sorry, but I will never be unfaithful to her...  
  
Yue: O.O *gapes* you mean, you're going out with Fuuko?  
  
Kurei: That miserable excuse for a girl from the Hokage monkeys? Raiha, I'm surprised at you.  
  
Raiha: Kurei-sama, I respect you, so I formally ask you to please not insult the woman I love; instead of blowing your brains out to prove the point that I will do almost anything for her.  
  
Yue: O.O *Reaaally reaaally wide eyed* He's actually threatening Kureri. he's really serious this time... *HUGE GRIN* YES MAN!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!! There are so many fanfics about you 2, you know? I just love this pairing!!!  
  
(Chibi-Vae pops out)  
  
Vae: FANFICS RULE!!! *victory sign* (disappears again)  
  
Raiha: *sweatdrop* ummm... what was that thing and what's fanfics?  
  
Yue: Uhh... well... that was Vae, oh, yes, and I'm Yue, and nevermind about fanfics... where was I? Oh, yeah... *suddenly remembers* YAY!!!!! *throws confetti and flower petals and glitter around*  
  
Raiha and Kurei:..........  
  
Yue: Ok, then. Since we already have 1 bishounen *drools* here, I doubt we need another. (Vae: heheh. little does she know just how many bishounen I meet... I love my job!) Let's find the Ura Uruha leader! Whatsisname... oh right! Aoi!  
  
(Thus the trio proceeds with their journey to find Aoi, with Yue still throwing confetti and celebrating the news of the Rai/Fuu pairing ^^;)  
  
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=  
  
Meanwhile, we go back to visit our other nutty author... who's resting under a tree with an irritated Kukai...  
  
Vae: whew! Thank heavens we ran fast enough!  
  
Kukai: *glowering* you mean *you* ran fast... I kept hitting the dirt!!!  
  
Vae: *sweatdrop* sorry, but you don't know how dangerous a crazed Yue is. a crazed Yue is a morbid and hungry Yue... and trust me, that's not a good combination. You know what she'll do? I'll tell you...  
  
*Shadows surround her & she grows ominously bigger, eyes hidden*  
  
Vae: *in a terrifying hiss* Her eyes'll fry you with their laser sharp intensity, her breath will choke you and make your eyes tear up, her hair'll truss you up like a turkey and squeeze the stuffing outta you, her teeth'll grind together and she'll grin this horrible, crazed grin before she lifts you up to her mouth and... *shudders* you don't wanna know... *goes back to normal... or at least, as normal as she can get*  
  
Kukai: O.O Really??!! *actually looks scared*  
  
Vae: No, not really *sheepishly*  
  
(Kukai facevaults)  
  
Vae: The real version's much worse.  
  
(Kukai facevaults *again* and sweatdrops. A really LARGE sweatdrop.)  
  
Vae: *cheerfully* well, onward, my good man!  
  
(She skips off, with Kukai resignedly following her, muttering 'your good man? *Your* good man?)  
  
Kukai: If you don't mind my asking, where do you plan to go?  
  
Vae: Uh, Mi-chan's home?  
  
Kukai: Any particular reason?  
  
Vae: That's where Mi-chan lives!  
  
Kukai: I think that was obvious. God this girl is *dense*.  
  
Vae: well, Kaoru-chan is temporarily living with him there too! *starry eyes* they're both such bishounen! Mi-chan's so cool and Kaoru-chan's so kawaii!!! *pauses* oh, wait for a sec...  
  
(Vae suddenly disappears and reappears three seconds later. on top of Kukai)  
  
Kukai: *Dumps Vae on ground, practically breaking all her bones and mutters to himself* I'm going to go senile much, MUCH earlier than I expected, at this rate. *patiently to Vae* What did you do?  
  
Vae: My women's intuition told me someone was talking about fanfics, so I HAD to pop in and shamelessly cheer fanfics on! FANFICS RULE! FANFICS RULE! FANFICS RULE! *victory sign*  
  
(Kukai wisely decides not to ask about fanfics as that would make Vae start on her 'fanfics rule' chant again... which was very, very annoying)  
  
Kukai: Shall we go?  
  
Vae: YUP!!!  
  
(ten minutes later)  
  
Vae: *whines* I'm tired and my side aches and my feet hurt!  
  
Kukai: Just five more minutes to the city.  
  
Vae: But I'm bored! I can't stand it!  
  
Kukai: Look at the scenery, then.  
  
Vae: The scenery's no fun!  
  
Kukai: Then focus on your goal - it helps, like meditation.  
  
Vae: My goal's too far!  
  
Kukai: -_-; I meant picture it mentally, not look for it physically.  
  
Vae: But I'm too tired and my side aches and my feet hurt!  
  
Kukai: ...... *prays silently* Yuu-sama, please deliver me from this agony quickly and I promise I will be good for the rest of my anime life.  
  
(Finally, four trying - *very* trying - minutes later.)  
  
Vae: WE'RE HERE!!! WE'RE FINALLY HERE!!!  
  
Kukai: (looking heavenward) *Thank* you, Yuu-sama! (to Vae) I assume you know where 'here' is.  
  
Vae: *rolls eyes* the street where Mi-chan lives! Duh!  
  
Kukai: o.O And... Where exactly is his house?  
  
Vae: Uh... *glances at rows of identical - and I mean *IDENTICAL* - bungalows* actually...  
  
Kukai: Remind me *never* to hire a female author as a tour guide.  
  
Vae: Never hire a female author as a tour guide.  
  
Kukai: ... *rubs temples* I suddenly have this pounding headache.  
  
Vae: Hey! I know! It's so quiet here! Let's yell, he's sure to hear us!  
  
Kukai: *Hurriedly* NO!!!  
  
Vae: Oh, right... ^^; I forgot. Authors can't yell or else... *Eyes grow wide with sudden realization* Hey! How about you? You can yell without... uh... side effects, 'cuz you're an anime character!  
  
Kukai: *gravely* Yelling is a sin. It disturbs the peace as well as violates the privacy of others. I will not invade anyone's privacy. The Ku are peaceful unless it is absolutely necessary that we resort to violence.  
  
Vae: *Slyly* Fine... since you won't do it, I will! *opens mouth*  
  
Kukai: NO!!! *claps hand over Vae's mouth* Alright! To chose between the violation of my inner peace and the destruction of the peace in a neighbourhood is hard, but I shall sacrifice myself for the good of all. *mutters something darkly about brats and blackmailers*  
  
Vae: *rubs hands together in wicked glee* Well?  
  
Kukai: Very well. *Sighs* Here goes... *takes a deep breath* MIKAGAMI!!!!!!!!! MAY WE HAVE THE HONOUR OF SEEING YOU NOW???????!!!!!!!!  
  
(A heartbeat of dead silence. Then...)  
  
*Sound of doors slamming open*  
  
Tasuki (we no own Fushigi Yuugi): *Screams* WHO'S THE F*CKIN BASTARD WHO WOKE ME UP!!! RECCA SHINEN!!!  
  
Xing Ling (we no own Celestial Zone, which is not a manga but a Chinese comic): *annoyed* I was cultivating my powers and you made me lose concentration, you - !!!  
  
Misato (we no own Neon Genesis Evangelion): *Screeches* My car! My brand new car! You made me scratch it!!!  
  
Kamui (we no own X either, though I - I'm Vae btw - would dearly love to own Kamui's feather wings. too cool!): *dangerously quiet* You woke Kotori up...  
  
(In a matter of seconds, Kukai was burnt black by Tasuki's tessen, hit on the head by Xing Ling's boomerang, slapped silly by Misato, and blasted to the middle of the road by Kamui.)  
  
*Sound of doors slamming shut*  
  
(A heartbeat of dead silence. Then...)  
  
Kukai: *whispers loudly* KUSO! FREAK & DAMN THOSE ANIME CHARACTERS! WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME FROM?!  
  
Vae: (who miraculously escaped unharmed) This is anime land! *sniffs disdainfully* of course there are anime characters! *grins evilly* I got to see so two bishounen and two bishoujo... serves Yue right for pairing Raiha with Fuuko without asking me! BWAHAHAHA...  
  
Kukai: ... *starts turning into Demon Kukai*  
  
Vae: Uh oh... *racks brains for idea* Ah hah! *clears throat* Kukai... you have committed a terrible sin. Even worse than turning into a demon and killing people. You should pray to clear your debt to your gods... and as soon as possible, or you might be damned to hell...  
  
Kukai: *back to normal* *suspiciously* what?  
  
Vae: *gravely* you just swore.  
  
Kukai: I did? O.O HOLY SHIT!  
  
(Kukai suddenly turns chibi, his demon self forgotten in panic, as he kneels down in the middle of the road with an altar that mysteriously appeared out of nowhere. He starts chanting prayers in front of the altar, knocking the wooden thingy that priest always use... I forgot its name, it was something like... wooden fish-head? -_-;)  
  
(suddenly a basketball flies toward Kukai)  
  
Sakuragi (we no own Slam Dunk): SHUT THE HELL UP OLD MAN!!!  
  
(Kukai knocked senseless and keels over in middle of road)  
  
Vae: Oh CRAP... *looks frantically around* now what do I do? There's no way I'm gonna give him the mouth to mouth thingy... the bishounen maybe, but not that ugly monk!  
  
Kukai: *lifts head off ground and glares* I'm NOT ugly! *promptly faints again*  
  
Vae: ......  
  
(Just then a silver car screeches to a halt a few metres away from Kukai and Vae)  
  
Mikagami, Koganei and Yanagi: Kukai and the idiot girl author???!!!  
  
Vae: Hey I'm not - *Suddenly realizes who she's talking to and shrieks* MI- CHAN!!! *glomps him* KAORU-CHAN!!! *glomps him too* YANAGI-SAN! *cringes* nevermind.  
  
Yanagi: *spots Kukai* Oh, poor Kukai-sensei! *tears well up in her eyes* He's so badly hurt!  
  
(Yanagi runs to Kukai and heals him while Mikagami and Koganei pick themselves off the road, dazed)  
  
Koganei: *mutters* great. First she dumps me in Mi-chan's house and not Yanagi-neechan's, then makes me suddenly grow as old as Recca-nichan (I hate high school! So much homework! Of course, I'm the heartthrob of the school, but that isn't the point)and now tries to kill me by glomping. Somebody chop off my head and be done with this torture.  
  
Vae: Okay! *Sweetly* *produces a few axes from thin air* Would you like your blade thick, medium or thin? And would you like fries with that?  
  
(everyone blinks)  
  
Vae: ^^; sorry, it just popped out...  
  
(Yanagi walks over with Kukai)  
  
Yanagi: He's healed!  
  
Kukai: So I am. Thank you, Yanagi-san. And it appears Recca is coming. *points to a figure nearing them*  
  
Koganei: *yells in panic to approaching Recca* Don't come any closer, Recca- nichan!!!  
  
Mikagami: *sweatdrop* Too late.  
  
(Alas, for Vae has already flown toward the unsuspecting Recca at lightning speed and is now glomping him enthusiastically. Then she drags a dazed Recca over to the group - which included a speechless, shocked Yanagi)  
  
Vae: there! *dusts hands off* OH, yes, I need to ask you something, Recca. Can you please join our new UBS as Hokage's leader? Show Kurei and his minions that good will always triumph!  
  
Recca: Will we have to sacrifice Yanagi?  
  
Vae: *Uncomfortably* yes...  
  
Everyone except Kukai: *flatly* NO!!!  
  
Vae: *wheedles* Recca... Kurei's joining, too! You still have unresolved problems, right? And Mi-chan, Raiha stole Fuuko away from you, don't you want revenge? Oh, and Kaoru-chan, I know you like someone, don't you? *Kaoru turns beet red* well, this is your chance to show her how strong you are!  
  
Mikagami: I want my friends to be happy, and as long as Fuuko is happy with Raiha, then I'm okay... *not very convincingly, keeping up his moral image*  
  
Koganei: That would just be showing off... *not very convincingly either, listening to his conscience*  
  
Recca: *not very - oh wait. Scratch that. It should be ~ignoring his morals~* Did Kurei want to fight? Who's he sacrificing?  
  
Vae: Oh... Kurei's accepted immediately after he heard he would be fighting you. He's sacrificing Kurenai... the real Kurenai. Not the flame-copy. *thinks to herself in wicked glee* Kurei doesn't even know that he needs a sacrifice... heheh... but the Hokage don't need to know that yet... *speaks aloud again* See? He's taking a risk with his beloved. Are you... *Sly, evil grin* more cowardly than he is? You don't dare to take the risk? (hey that rhymes too!)  
  
All 3 guys: WE ARE NOT COWARDS!!!! FINE!!! WE ACCEPT!!!  
  
Vae: *brightly* Great!  
  
Yanagi: Hey! Don't I have a say in this? Hello? Is anyone *listening* to me? Recca-kun!!!  
  
(Everyone ignores her, too caught up in their own thoughts: how Fuuko is going to be so impressed, how Kurei is going to get what he deserves, etc.)  
  
Kukai: *sighs sadly and shakes his head* you've all been manipulated by that kitsune(vixen)...  
  
Vae: *whapps Kukai* shaddup!  
  
Kukai: That reminds me. Who's our sacrifice?  
  
Vae: *smugly* can't you guess?  
  
Audience member: IT'S MISORA YOU BIG DOPE!!!  
  
Vae: very good!  
  
Kukai: *narrows eyes* wait. My daughter?  
  
Vae: *cheerfully* don't worry, the others are also sacrificing their loved ones.  
  
Kukai: My daughter?  
  
Vae: *loses her smile* well.  
  
Kukai: My *daughter*?  
  
Vae:*finally finding courage* No, I meant Misao from Rurouni Kenshin (which we don't own). Of course it's your daughter, come on, do you hear anyone from the Hokage whining about their sacrifice?  
  
Yanagi: I am!!! *pauses* oh wait. I'm not whining! I'm complaining!  
  
(Nobody listens)  
  
Kukai: Fine, fine *grumbles* But Saicho's not going to be very happy...  
  
Vae: Ask me if I care.  
  
Kukai: Do you care?  
  
Vae: -_-; No.  
  
Kukai: *shrugs* okay.  
  
Vae: *sighs* Okay, everyone, I need Recca and Kukai to come with me to meet up with the other leaders. The rest of you can do whatever you want. Sayonara! I'll be back, Mi-chan and Kaoru-chan!  
  
(Vae grabs chibi-Recca and chibi-Kukai by the backs of their shirts and marches off, with her captives desperately trying to free themselves from her iron grip)  
  
Mikagami and Koganei: *look at each other* Well...  
  
Mikagami: let's go and have some coffee at my house and wait for the monk and monkey to come back.  
  
Koganei: Fine. Hey~ how about Yanagi-neechan? Where'd she go?  
  
Mikagami: *looks around* -_-; there (points)  
  
(Yanagi is standing on the road, staring at Recca being dragged off.)  
  
Yangai: *murmurs sadly* take care, Recca-kun... *brushes a teardrop away*  
  
(the two guys sweatdrop... when suddenly Fuuko pops up in their faces)  
  
Fuuko: Hi!  
  
Mikagami: *stammers* Fuu - Fuu - Fuuko??!! *goes pink*  
  
Koganei: Fuuko-neechan!  
  
Fuuko: Yup! Hey, where's Recca? I thought he was looking for you? And where's Yanagi?  
  
(the two guys point at Yanagi)  
  
Fuuko: Oy! Yanagi! What are you doing?!  
  
Yanagi: *wipes tear off* I was bidding goodbye to Recca, who was dragged off with Kukai by... uh...  
  
Koganei: *~very~ helpfully* The person who glomped Recca, her name's Vae.  
  
(Yanagi bursts into tears)  
  
Fuuko: o.O Someone glomped Recca? No wonder Yanagi's upset! She's never had the courage to do that!  
  
(Yanagi cries even harder)  
  
Fuuko: -_-; Where'd the Vae person and Recca and Kukai go?  
  
Mikagami: The monk and monkey were dragged off by Vae to meet up with Kurei.  
  
Fuuko: O.O Kurei??!! Is it something to do with the rumour of upcoming battle?  
  
Mikagami: It's not a rumour. *blushes slightly when Fuuko looks at him* I - I mean - uh - Vae brought Recca and Kukai to meet with the, um, others leader of the, er, competing teams... *goes pink again and shuts up*  
  
Fuuko: Then... Raiha's going to be wherever Vae's bringing Recca to!!! *BIG grin* I mean... I'd better go and check on Recca... sayonara!!!  
  
(dashes off in the direction which Yanagi was staring at)  
  
Mikagami: Fuuko... *watching her go with longing, sad expression on face*  
  
Koganei: *Snickers* Mi-chan... you're okay with Fuuko and Raiha, huh? *imitates Mikagami's expression, except more exaggerated, with huge starry eyes, and tries to sound lovesick* Fuuko...  
  
Mikagami: -_- *punches Koganei into the sky then pulls a sobbing Yanagi towards his house, muttering about monkeys and his 'sister-look-alike' being as weepy as ever.* Come on, Yanagi, Koganei will find his own way back to my house...  
  
CRAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!  
  
Koganei's voice: YOWCH!!! #$%@&@*%^&@#$^$#*U%*^@$#%^&#&$&@$%&$%*$!!!!!!!  
  
Mikagami: KUSO... I see the fang boy found my house - he literarily landed in it!!!  
  
And now, let us stop groaning at the corny jokes and leave our two bishounen and one resident bishoujo whiner and see what's going on with Yue...  
  
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=  
  
PHEW!~ Chapter 2 finished at last. This was more of a Vae chapter. ^_^ Anyway, how do you like it? Pls review!!! Onegai. Juz click that button down there... it won't take a long time. *puppy eyes*  
  
Yue: Once again, thanks to our reviewers!!! ^_^ We really appreciate it! *bows* Doumo arigatou gozaimasu!!! The next chapter will probably be mostly about my adventures. Humph. I shall meet more bishounen than Vae. .  
  
Vae: Hey~ *pouts*  
  
Yue: Sorry. been real busy with schoolwork and stuff. Plus my computer crashed. And *all* my files were deleted. For those who do not see the seriousness in this, it means *all* my anime/manga pics, anime songs and other project stuff have all gone - POOF! *sob* So do me a favour, REVIEW!!!  
  
Vae: Yeah. We'll try to make the next chapter more interesting. K, that's all for now. Jaa-ne!~ 


	3. Chap 3: Uruhas and Hentainess

Finally... Chapter 3 up! Gomen! Really sorry for the slow update. Been really busy.  
  
Yue: Thanks to ShuHui for reviewing... even though I forced her into it ^_^;;;  
  
Vae: thanks for reviewing, Dark Magician lady!!! I'm so glad u think I'm cool (YEAH!!! *dances a jig around the room* ALL BOW TO ME!!!). and that our story's cool too! Yue and I are schoolmates writing this thing, so we take turns writing. All the funny parts are mine.  
  
Yue: HEY!!!!!  
  
Vae: kiddin, just kiddin. You know I think that your writing is really good... 'newayz, hope u like this chap!  
  
(Yue: Nah. you're the better writer.)  
  
Oh yes, and to Katana Shinzo, I'm not telling who Koganei likes!! You'll find out anyway. *grins and sticks out tongue* but thanks for saying our fic is funny and awesome! I hope you won't be disappointed with this chapter! Any pairing you like in particular for Koganei? Or anybody else? Feel free to ask!  
  
Yue: hmph. Anyway, thanks for reviewing too, ShinigamiD! ^o^ *hugs back* How ya doin? Erm... *sweatdrop* I wouldn't be too sure about the lemon. coz if you still remember the /interesting/ experience we had last time with lemon writing... -.-  
  
*****IMPORTANT*****  
  
Vae: we planned on making FY fight with FoR... so if it's only FoR, we might have to create new groups. (Then we'll definitely ask for your help, dark magician lady!) Some people want us to add FY, some don't. so we shall see how many reviews we get telling us if they want it or not! Then we'll decide... *hint, hint*  
  
(pause)  
  
ok, forget about the hinting. REVIEW EVERYONE!!! And feel free to ask for any pairing... there's a neon-joker one coming up, by request of the wonderful cherie! :) yeah!  
  
Anyway, we shall bore you no further with our crap. On with the story! And we sincerely hope you'll like this chapter, though I find it too... well, corny and lame. We did our best! Feel free to give comments!  
  
P.S. Read Darke Angel's original fics at www.fictionpress.net! Yeah!!! Read "Binding Differences" and flame her if she doesn't update. so cruel rite...  
  
================prologue to Chap 3==============  
  
Weird Voice: Hi! Yes, it's me again, having recovered from a not so nice experience of being burnt to a crisp... ahem, excuse me for a minute... *throws daggers at a picture of Kurei who already looks like a porcupine* Anyway, in the last chapter, Vae managed to find the Hokage, glomping Recca, Koganei and Mikagami at the same time...  
  
Recca, Koganei, Mikagami: *recall painful memory and wince*  
  
Weird Voice: So now, let's move on to see what's happening with Yue and the others...  
  
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+  
  
(an hour later)  
  
Yue: *still throwing confetti around*  
  
Raiha: Anou... Yue-san...  
  
Yue: *a bit /too/ cheerfully* Yes?  
  
Raiha: Well... If I were you, I would stop throwing confetti around. It's dirtying the place you know.  
  
Yue: But there are no cops around here right? So I guess I can litter as much as I want. *whistles* No corrective work order. XD *throws even MORE confetti*  
  
Raiha: *sweatdrop* Actually, there /are/ cops...  
  
Yue: *stops in her tracks, falls flat on her face, and ends up with a mouthful of dirt and a deformed face* WHAT?!  
  
Kurei: In fact, I see one heading here now...  
  
(Saitou /we do not own Rurouni Kenshin/ walks past the trio.)  
  
Yue: *slaps forehead* Damn, I forgot HIM...  
  
(Saitou stops, glances at the rubbish, then looks at Yue.)  
  
Yue: ARGH!!! Um... *looks around desperately*  
  
Saitou: YOU! *takes out his sword and points at Yue menancingly*  
  
Yue: WAHHHHHH!!!!! *wails and goes down on her knees* NOOO... don't put me in prison. I'm too young to go to prison... I promise I'll never never ever litter again.  
  
Raiha & Kurei: ......  
  
Saitou: ... What the - ?! What's that about putting who in prison? I was just trying to ask you whether you have seen Himura Kenshin.  
  
Yue: *heaves a /huge/ sigh of relief* Phew... then why did you point that sword at me?  
  
Saitou: If I didn't, would you tell me anything? Oh hey~ now that you've mentioned it, didn't you know that you're not allowed to litter?  
  
Yue: Kuso... Doushiyouuu?! *sudden idea pops up in her head* Look!!! Kenshin! *points finger to somewhere behind Saitou*  
  
Saitou: *turns around frantically* Where? Where?  
  
Yue: *grabs Raiha and Kurei* Ikuzo!!!  
  
(The trio run away, or rather, Yue is dragging them away, leaving a trail of smoke behind)  
  
(15 minutes later.)  
  
Yue: *pants* Okay... I think we ran far enough. He shouldn't be able to catch up at this rate.  
  
Kurei: Kami-sama, why did I ever agree to follow this crazy girl?  
  
Yue: Hey! *death glare x 1000* Nandato? You big, ugly, masked face, long fingernailed, morbid -oops that was a compliment-, horrible laughter, slimy haired *censored*.  
  
Raiha: *pulls out katana and points at Yue* No one insults Kurei-sama in front of me!  
  
Kurei: *voice dangerously quiet* I dare you to repeat what you said again... *death glare x 100000000*  
  
Yue: *whimpers* Ok...ok... I take that back... *mutters* Kuso. First Saitou's sword, now Raiha's sword... Am I jinxed or what? I mean, yeah, I like swords - provided they are not pointing at me... and especially not when they are one centimetre away from stabbing my heart. And the worst part is I get my favourite bishounen pointing them at me... *cries* I waaaaaant myyyyy MOMMMMIEEEEEE!!!  
  
Kurei: *stuffs fingers in ears* I swear, that if I hang around this.this crazy person any longer, I'm going to go DEAF anytime!  
  
Raiha: *cheerfully* Oh, don't you worry, Kurei sama, I've got... *rummages in pocket* TA-DAA! Earplugs!  
  
Kurei: ...... *in a deadpan tone*wow. That's going to be so helpful, Raiha.  
  
Yue: *glances at watch* ARGH!!! It's so late already? Gosh, we better start finding Ura Uruha now...  
  
Raiha: =_=' And who's fault was it that we wasted so much time? *glares*  
  
Yue: *sweatdrops* Ehehe....hehe...  
  
Kurei: Well, that's not my problem. *crosses arms over chest* We don't need anyone else...I can fight Recca all by myself. Humph.  
  
Yue: *rolls eyes* Yeah, sure, I seemingly recall some very arrogant person saying that he would beat Recca but ended up rolling on the floor like a burnt crisp. Hah. Do it again, shall we -  
  
Raiha: Shut up, Yue. I repeat - NO ONE INSULTS KUREI SAMA IN FRONT OF ME.  
  
Yue: *pouts* Why must you be so mean to me? My life already sucks!  
  
Audience: Because we all don't like you.  
  
Yue: *glares* Yeah. Laugh at me, won't you? And I'll make sure you die horrible deaths.  
  
Audience: *indignantly* Hey! Quit threatening us with that! Is all that you think about death? What happened to your morals?  
  
Yue: Morals? What morals? I don't have any and don't have to think about any. My characters are happy if they actually /live/ till the last page.  
  
Audience: *mutters* I seriously doubt I would like to read any of your other stories.  
  
Yue: Yeah. I'm sure as hell you wouldn't. You undignified people wouldn't *know* how to appreciate it. I mean, it's hard to, with a brain that size of yours... Wait, do you even /have/ one? Or is your head too stuffed with cotton wool? Anyway, I don't have time now to pick a fight with you brainless gits. Wait till I get Ura Uruha. We'll settle our scores another - YIKES! *screams as someone comes flying towards her*  
  
Fujimiya Ran (we don't own Weiss Kreuz): TAKATORI!!! SHI-NE!!!! *holds sword up, preparing to strike*  
  
Yue: What the @#($&(#)? I'M NOT TAKATORI!!!! STOP POINTING THAT DAMNED SWORD AT ME!!!!  
  
Ran: *blinks* Oh right, you're not Takatori. Gomen, made a mistake... it's just that you look a lot like that senile old b*stard... *raiha and kurei snigger, then mutter among themselves about how "the other girl looks much worse" and start sniggering again*  
  
Yue: *dazedly* That's the third sword I'm getting today... This is crap... *mutters*  
  
Audience: *whispers* It's lucky she doesn't realise who she has bumped into or poor Ran will get glomped...  
  
Raiha: Erm. We're sorry. We were just looking for someone. We'll be on our way now. Bye! *drags the dazed Yue away, Kurei follows*  
  
(10 minutes later)  
  
Yue: *still recovering from shock* Three swords...  
  
Kurei: She doesn't seem quite all right to me. Damn. How are we going to find the Ura Uruha in this state?  
  
Raiha: Well, I vaguely remember that the authors of this fic seem to like yelling for them. Should we try that? It'll be more convenient for us.  
  
Kurei: Look Raiha, I might look stupid but I'm definitely not a brainless git. And I have witnessed enough yelling scenes to know that this is the worst thing to do when finding people in AnimeLand. Although the consequences might only apply to authors. Or maybe it only works for authors. I forgot.  
  
Yue: Three swords... thrreeee swooorddsss...  
  
Raiha: Well... Then, my lord, as your loyal and faithful servant, I shall attempt to call the Ura Uruha out myself. And take the brunt of the attack. Don't worry, I'll protect you if anything happens.  
  
Yue: *blinks* *awakes from trance* Heyyyyy~~~ Did I just miss some Yaoi scene?? *evil grin* *says in a lovesick manner* Don't worry, my love, I will protect you with my life... Aww...  
  
Raiha: *blushes* SHUDDUP. I'm STRAIGHT ok? My love is Fuuko.  
  
Yue: Really? You sure???? ^_________________________^  
  
Raiha: Y-yyyes!  
  
Kurei: ......  
  
Yue: Oh. *looks disappointed* I thought the story was finally picking up. Did I mention how much I loooooooooooooooooove Yaoi? *starts prancing around and singing* Yaoi is my life... Yaoi is my everything.... Yaoi is the beesssttt-  
  
Raiha: *cuts in* That's enough already. Now can we start finding the Ura Uruha? We've wasted so much time!  
  
(Yue writing ends *here* and Vae writing starts *here*)(insert claps and cheers and loud catcalling *here*)(Vae starts bowing *here*)(rotten tomatoes and eggs and goodness knows what hit her *here*)  
  
ignore that last paragraph.  
  
Yue: Alright! Yaoi! Let's go! Yaoi! Who are we looking for? Yaoi!  
  
Raiha: At this rate, yaoi is going to be put down in my dictionary as a word that roughly means the same thing as 'shit and damn and curse it to hell'...  
  
Kurei: Language, Raiha language. My ninjas must be of a refined higher class... like me. *preens himself*  
  
Raiha: Gomennasai, Kurei-sama. *whips out dictionary and reads from it* Is 'faeces which can be explained as the solid waste matter from the bowels and can be called excrement...  
  
*flips to the 'd' section of the dictionary*  
  
and damnation and condemnation...  
  
*flips to the 'c' part*  
  
and cause evil, harm, destruction and pain to something  
  
*flips to the 'h' part*  
  
so that it descends into...  
  
*starts reading again*  
  
the utmost depths of the place believed in some religions to be the home of devils and of wicked people after death or a state or place of great suffering or wickedness, a very unpleasant experience'  
  
*shuts the dictionary* better?  
  
Kurei: not much, actually. Though I am glad to see that you are intelligent enough to check the dictionary.  
  
Raiha: well, in that case, I shall try my utmost to refrain from repeating that past mistake, but, no offence meant, THAT THING REALLY TRIES MY NERVES!!!  
  
Yue: *indignantly* Hey, I'm not a thing, yaoi! I'm a person, yaoi! A very nice person, yaoi!  
  
Audience: Yeah, right.  
  
Raiha: Why are you going 'yaoi' at the end of every sentence?!  
  
Yue: well, it's like chichiri's 'no da' yaoi! And we don't own Fushigi Yuugi, yaoi! If Chiri can say 'no da' at the end of every sentence, then why can't I say 'yaoi', yaoi?  
  
Kurei: I have a brilliant idea that may save our sanity, my faithful ninja.  
  
Raiha: *excitedly* even better than my earplugs?  
  
Kurei: *solemnly* Even better than your earplugs.  
  
(the two of them whisper while yue tries to eavesdrop and fails miserably)  
  
Raiha: Brilliant! I'll take the bottom, you take the top!  
  
Kurei: Looking forward to it.  
  
Yue: o.O What? Whose top and whose bottom, yaoi? Look guys, if you really wanna well. do *that*, you can just ignore my presence, yaoi. Go ahead. Oh wait. but then I'll have to change the ratings. But *perks up* It's worth it, yaoi~! ^________________________^  
  
Raiha and Kurei: what? *blinks... then realization dawns as they remember how hentai Yue's mind is* ARGH!!!!!  
  
*audience oohs and aahs appreciatively as the two bishounen pounce on Yue (NOOOO!!! NOOOO!!! I WANT MY MOOOOMEEEE!!! SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE - ) and tie her up, Raiha binding her legs and Kurei tying her hands and gagging her. Then everybody points at the girl and joins in the fiendish laughter at the miserable author's pathetic state.* *no offense meant, yue.*  
  
Yue: M'm mmmmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm!!! Mm mmmm mm!!! mmm'mm mmm mm mm mmmmm!!! (translation: I'm gonna get you for this!!! I mean it!!! You'll die in my hands!!!)  
  
Raiha: Any idea what she's saying?  
  
Kurei: No. Thank Anzai.  
  
Audience: she's threatening us all!  
  
Kurei: well, it's not very impressive or threatening, is it, what with her being tied up and all.  
  
Raiha: I fully agree, Kurei-sama. Your plans are always the best!  
  
Kurei: Why, thank you, my ninja.  
  
*the two look at each other and crack up in mad laughter*  
  
Yue: MMMM MMMM MMM MMMM MMMM!!! MMMM MMM'MM MMMMMM MMMM!!!! (translation: wait till Vae gets here!!! Then you'll regret this!!!!)  
  
Kurei: Oh, yes. The other idiot girl author.  
  
Raiha: uh-oh... she's even worse than this one!  
  
Kurei: I realize that! She's terrible! I'd rather deal with this one than her any day!  
  
Raiha: *cringes* I hate to think what she'll do if she sees what we did to this one... Rumour has it that she has a collection of axes which she uses often. VERY often.  
  
Kurei: . *wincing as his over-active morbid imagination supplied him with images*  
  
Raiha: what do we do, o Kurei-sama? Be killed by Vae or be killed by Yue? I don't want to die yet!!! I haven't done anything with Fuuko-chan!!!  
  
Kurei: oh, that was a really bad image, Raiha! Really, really bad. I /so/ did not need that image, Raiha. Really. That's disgusting. Coming from /her/ I wouldn't be surprised, but you? (Yue: But it was better than the top and bottom one, was it not? ^_~ Vae: Oh be quiet, you.)  
  
(A/N I'm sure u readers out there will understand what I meant... ^_____________^ just to let u noe, I'm not the hentai one. Yue and some other friends I noe are much more hentai... they keep reading nc-17 lemons... not that there's anything wrong with that, of course...) (Yue: Actually, it's NC21. *evil grinz*) (Vae: hentai)  
  
Yue: MMPH. MMPH. (this means Ha. Ha. Dunno why she's laughing - or at least trying to - when she's in such a fix... oh well.)  
  
Raiha: I think we'd better get Aoi here, so that she won't kill us that badly for not finding the Ura Uruha and wasting time... though it's not our fault... and whose fault is it, class?  
  
Audience: HER FAULT!!! *points at a red-faced Yue*  
  
Raiha: Very good, very good! Now let's see... *whips out Uruha Cell Phone - One Time Use only! Call 4444 and reach the Uruha Phone network without annoying waiting times!! Get your phone today! - and opens it*  
  
(Silence.)  
  
Kurei: You... have a Uruha Cell Phone.  
  
Raiha: Yep!  
  
Kurei: You have a *Uruha Cell Phone*.  
  
Raiha: That's right.  
  
Kurei: *You* have a Uruha Cell Phone.  
  
Raiha: Uh huh...  
  
Kurei: You. Have. A. Uruha. Cell. Phone.  
  
Raiha: Anything wrong, Kurei-sama? *feeling a bit scared now*  
  
Kurei: *in a cold, deadly tone* We could have saved our sanity and time if you had taken the phone out at the beginning instead of wandering around with this... with this... with this *bug*. But noooo... you have to wait till I dirty my hands by touching her before you take the phone out!  
  
Raiha: I'm sorry, really, Kurei-sama! Gomennasai! Onegai, give me another chance! I would have taken it out sooner... if I had remembered...  
  
Kurei: Forget it. JUST CALL ALREADY!!!  
  
Raiha: *Nodnod* ok, ok! *Dials 4444* Hello?  
  
Operator: Hello! You have reached the Uruha Phone Network! Name the Uruha you want to find!  
  
Raiha: Aoi.  
  
Operator: Hai! Just hold on a second!  
  
Raiha: ok!  
  
(one second)  
  
(one second times sixty which equals to one minute)  
  
(one minute times sixty which equals to one hour)  
  
(one hour times three which equals to half of a quarter of a day)  
  
(isn't this fun, we're learning how to tell the time.what a great achievement!)  
  
finally...  
  
Operator: Hello!  
  
Raiha: *snores*  
  
Operator: HELLO!!!  
  
Raiha: what? What? *jerks awake and looks around frantically* I'm awake! I'm awake! Hey~ you said no waiting time, and you were gone for three hours!!!  
  
Operator: I'm sorry! That was due to unforseen problems. But here's Aoi- sama now! Thank you for using Uruha Phone Network!  
  
Aoi: Hello? Whoever that is, just want to tell you never use a Uruha Phone. They suck.  
  
Raiha: ...... -_-;  
  
(Kurei and Yue have both gone to sleep long ago)  
  
Aoi: hello?  
  
Raiha: Yeah, hi. Listen, there's gonna be another UBS and we're gonna fight against Recca and the others and everything. Wanna join? Kurei is in, the Kuu are in, and I'm sure Recca and them will join too, being the violence- loving idiots we all are. And I'd advise you to join, cuz there are two power-crazy girl author wannabes who will torture you if you don't.  
  
Aoi: Since you put it that way, I guess so.  
  
Raiha: Can you come to see Kurei now? The girl idiot is gathering all the leaders for a briefing of some kind.  
  
Aoi: No prob. Hi.  
  
Raiha: Huh? Shouldn't it be bye - *screams and drops the phone (which vanishes) and turns around at the feeling of cold fingers wrapping around his neck*  
  
Aoi: Boo.  
  
Raiha: O.O what do you think you're doing?! You scared the shit outta me!  
  
Aoi: well, you told me to come, dincha? *looks smug*  
  
Kurei: Which girl screamed just now and woke me up? Is there a helpless damsel in distress somewhere? Just kill her already before the white knight comes.  
  
(And now, please welcome... the amazing Yue!!! This is her second debut for this chapter. Clap, people, clap!)  
  
Aoi: Well Mister Kurei, in case you haven't noticed, the so-called damsel in distress was your faithful and loyal servant.  
  
Kurei: What? Raiha, I'm surprised at you. You scream worse than a girl.  
  
Yue: HMMPHMMPH. MMPH. HMPPH. MPPH. HM? (Translation: Perfect for a bottom, doncha think?)  
  
Raiha: *glares and blushes* Shuddup!  
  
Yue: *thinks* Damn. That idiot doesn't look like he is going to let me off soon. Doushiyo. I need to contact Vae and the others for the briefing.  
  
Kurei: -_- Anyway, Raiha, I would appreciate it if you do not /scream/ next time. that girly sound does not suit a ninja of your calibre.  
  
Yue: scream?. Oh right!!! *takes a deep breath and yells* MMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ! (Translation: VAE!!!!!)  
  
The ground shakes and rumbles. Lightning flashes and thunder crashes. The plate tectonics of Anime Land move apart from each other, creating a divergent boundary, which in other cases is supposed to either create an earthquake or cause magma in the interior of the Earth to well up to the surface and burst out of the volcano's crater. The magma, by the way, is a type of igneous rock, which is either intrusive/plutonic or extrusive/volcanic. and these volcanic eruptions cause air pollution because of volcanic ash, together with the formation of stuff like geysers and springs and this also makes the soil around it more fertile. (Yue: Gomen. just had a Geography test yesterday. Vae: Shuddup already!!! Yes, yes, I know you studied. Don't rub it in!)  
  
(Suddenly... confetti bursts around the place as Vae appears, dragging a mortified Recca and Kukai with her)  
  
Vae: Hi people! ^_______^ didja miss my pretty face?  
  
Kurei, Raiha, Aoi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! GET HER AWAY!!!! SAVE US!!!! MONSTER ON THE LOOOOOSE!!!!!  
  
Vae: *sweatdrops as she watches the three uruhas chase each other around the clearing yelling their heads off* I don't look that bad, do I?  
  
Yue: O.O MMPH MMPH MMPH!!!! MMMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH MMMMPPHH?!!! (yes you do!!!! What did you do to yourself?!!!!)  
  
Vae: *looks down at her* what? I was just trying to look like fuuko-chan! She's so cool!  
  
Yue: MMPH MMPH MMPH MMPH MMMMPPPPHHHH!!!!! (But you look like DOMON!!!)  
  
(Vae is wearing skintight shorts... and a singlet-like vest... and sneakers... just like what fuuko wears in the ubs... but the problem is, with Vae's horrible fashion sense... she managed to turn fuuko's comfortable outfit into domon's disaster...)  
  
Vae: *pouts* hmph. Fine. *snaps her fingers and changes back into her previous outfit with doesn't seem to get dirty or tear no matter how many times she wears it... like the uniforms in FY...)  
  
Yue: MMPH MMPH MMPH MPPH, MPPH MPPH MPPH MPPH! (now that my poor eyes are saved, Get Me Out Of Here!)  
  
Vae: out of where?  
  
Yue: MMPH!!! (HERE!!!!)  
  
Vae: I don't see anything different about you... except that you look fatter than before. And shorter.  
  
All the bishounen: -_-;;;;;;;;  
  
Raiha: *whispers to Kurei* we forgot that she even though she's weirder than Yue... she's way more blur than her! Thank anzai for that!  
  
Kurei: yeah.  
  
(suddenly...)  
  
Fuuko: *floating towards everyone on a wind created by her fuujin and yelling* TO PROTECT THE WEAK FROM DEVASTATION, TO UNITE ALL PEOPLE WITHIN THE NATION, TO RENOUNCE THE EVILS OF BULLYING AND... AND... GLOVES, TO EXTEND MY REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE!  
  
Kurei: /That's/ your girlfriend?  
  
Raiha: eheheh... *sweatdrop* she's a bit enthusiastic at times, I must admit... *waves* fuuko-chan!  
  
Fuuko: *turns red* Raiha! OWCH!!!  
  
*our dear wind master, not looking where she was going since she was too busy looking at raiha, promptly crashed into a demented jumping jack-in-the- box... which is Yue trying to stand up.*  
  
Yue: @-@  
  
Fuuko: oh, look! A helpless victim!!! I protect the weak and the stupid, so I shall save you!! *unties Yue*  
  
Kurei: I wonder who's the real victim here...  
  
Fuuko: *slowly, like she's talking to a baby* come, don't be scared, tell fuuko who bullied you, and I'll help you get revenge!  
  
Yue: Him, him and her!!!  
  
Raiha, Kurei and Vae: Who, me?  
  
*Fuuko looks at Raiha and sees her boyfriend giving her the puppy face... then winces and turns to Kurei and sees Kurenai and winces again... then turns to Vae and sees a monkey and brightens*  
  
Fuuko: ok! I shall beat you up!  
  
Vae: me? Trust me, you do not want to do that. I am the almighty author of this fic. I can win you anytime!  
  
Fuuko: we'll see about that! *grins evilly*  
  
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=  
  
who will win the battle of the females? Read on to find out!  
  
**And please review!** Sorry if our jokes are corny and not very interesting... at least this is an educational chapter... you learn math and geography! ^_____^ ok that was stupid. 


End file.
